Funny Jokes

1. 3 friends had walked down to the train station.They were so busy in their talks that they didnt hear the train arrive,but they noticed the noise of the train as it started to depart.After a great rush,2 of them managed to step onboard.3rd one looked sad so a passing railway official said,Dont feel bad, atleast 2 out of 3 of u made it.True,but the other 2 were only here to see me off .

2.  Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls?? 

3. 1 drunk asked the other : What a beautiful night,look at the moon.

Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here. 

4. Boss was on the 25th floor of a building;he called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file.Since it was urgent,the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he shud hurry with the file.After more than 30mins. the clerk appeared all tired and panting for breath.

Boss:What took u so long?

Clerk:When I went to the lift it said during an emergency please use the staircase. 

5. Professor of literature asked a general question in the class. According to English rites, why do bride and groom shake hands at the time of wedding?

 Rohan: It s similar to the customary ceremony of shaking hands by 2 wrestlers before entering the wrestling 

arena. 

6. A man got a call from his doctor who said I have some bad news and some terrible news, which would u rather hear Ist?

Man : The bad news.

Doctor : The lab messed up ur tests and when they re-did them,they found out u only have 48 hrs to live. 

Man :What could be more terrible than that?

Doctor : we tried all day yesterday to get hold of u but ur phone was busy!