Sardarji Rocks....

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay" 


Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!. 


Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!


Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office.... 


Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa.. 

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Funny Messages

Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

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I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!

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when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ........pick d phone idiot

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Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence
Student : WOW !

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The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love

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SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards

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A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

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History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....

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Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

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Funny Jokes / SMS

Boy:I sent love letters to my girlfriend everyday for 3years. 
Friend:Then what happened? 
Boy:Nothing finally She married the postman.

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A kid gets zero in a paper Father angrily asks Whats this? 
Kid:Teacher didn't have more stars to give so she started giving MOONS.

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Best thought of life: Be talented in front of everyone. But always be a fool in front of dear ones.

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Owner to Servant: Go and water the plants. 
Servant:It's raining. 
Owner:So what take an umbrella and go.

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DAD:dear son,why your sister sitting so silent 
SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstik, but i gave fevistik. 
No chip chip no chik chik

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New Economic Analysis Its better to have a Long distance Relationship Because, S.T.D. rates are much Lower than Fuel Rates

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Teacher:How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? student:I get up early.

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There only one difference between dream n aim. Dream requires Soundless sleep to see where as Aim Requires Sleepless Efforts 2 Achieve.

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Why we have so many temples if God is everywhere? 
Air is every where but we need a fan to feel it. Think about it.

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Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS: 


1 Too Many Questions. 
2 Difficult to Understand. 
3 More Explanation is Needed. 
4 Result is always FAIL.

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Few more Funny SMS (Jokes)

Banta: What is the best way to see flying saucers? 

Santa: Pinch the waitress.

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Appu: Do you know that it is not fall that kills you, it is the sudden stop at the end.

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Pappu: When is it unlucky to see a black cat? . . . . . . . 

Appu: When you are a mouse.

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Whats d difference between ppl who pray in Temples and ppl who pray in Exam Centres? Those in d exam centres r damn serious.

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All of our politicians play KBC in reverse manner. They make crores and crores first and then answer the questions later.

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Appu: I have been trying to think of a word for two weeks. 

Pappu: Its a fortnight.

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Wife: Can u explain 2 me how dis lipstick got on ur collar? 

Husband: No,I really cant.I distinctly remembrd havng taken my shirt off.

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Lady: When you are finished with me, will my husband think I am beautiful? Beautician: May be, does he still drink a lot?

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Pappu to Appu: The planes are so fast these days that there is no time to get acquainted with the air hostess.

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Preeto: I won't marry you, and you know why? 

Jeetho: No, I can't think. 

Preeto: That's why.

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Smile cost you Nothing.... get here for FREE

A Smile costs less than Electricity.. But Gives more light.. So Always Keep Smiling n Prove that you are the Best Tube Light.

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Life is like a MOVIE.. If u r sad-DRAMA, If u r afraid-SUSPENSE, If u r angry-ACTION, When u look at the mirror-HORROR.

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You are the most SENTIMENTAL friend of mine: One percent SENTI Ninety Nine Percent MENTAL.

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You are so cute my dear friend: C-Causing. U-Unnecessary. T-Trouble. E-Everywhere.

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What's the difference between stupid and idiot? Stupid will delete this joke. Idiot will forward this joke. Ha ha,what will you do now?

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Urgent:Chloroform is out of stock in the hospital. Can you please send a pair of your socks?

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Examiner:What is Microsoft Excel student:It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer.

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What a woman wants is what you are out of. She wants more of a thing when it is scarce.

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Appu: I want you to explain why I have to wear these same old clothes. 
 Pappu: Bcoz if u don`t, you could scare the dog.

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Few more Funny Jokes / SMS

Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

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Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....

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Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about yours?

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Doctor implants a New Ear to a man.

Man: You idiot, you gave me a woman’s ear

Doctor: It makes no difference

Man: It does,Now I hear everything

but understand nothing...=P

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If u wanna make someone look crazy on Facebook
.
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.
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just comment on their status & when they reply back delete your comment :D :D

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The best way to make somebody remember you
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borrow money from them. :p

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Boy: Do u have a pen?
Girl: Yeah
Boy: Oh..it s out of ink!
Girl: What? you're kidding.......it works!
Boy: It doesn't work! well,u try go write "your cell phone number" here.. P

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Funny SMS - 3

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I`m a lady and I play with boys!!

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When in life, you wake up n you don`t see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

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When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? He took them to a pignic.

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why are footballers never invited to dinner? answer: because they are always dribbling.

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Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren`t listening the first time!

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Why do only 10% of women make it to heaven? Because if they all went it would be hell

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Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

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Funny SMS - 3

Teacher: Tintu what is the full form of class?
Tintumon:C-Come L-Late A-And S-Start S-Sleeping

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Worlds shortest jokes:

1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.
2) 2 cracks r playing chess.
3) GirlFriend pays the bill...

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Docter to tintumon: u will die within 2 hours.Do u want to see any one before u die?
Tintumon:Yes, A GOOD DOCTER

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Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... So, Kindly tell them ur age plz......

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Interviwer: Tell any idea to aviod train accidents
crack: To put speed brakers on the track

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News: 32 girls r admitted in KIMS Hospital 4 suiside attempt.
Reason: tin2`s mobile was swich off yesterday ! silly girls:-)

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Tintu was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.... WHY??
Because his doctor advised him: Today`s dinner should be light...

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When u born..the clouds were parted.. Sun shined N God appeared infront of all people N said.."SORRY FOR THE MISTAKE" "KINDLY ADJUST"

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My Attitude :- A Girl proposed to me. And I said: ! ! "Sorry, I won`t accept your proposal, But I apprecate your selection..."!

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Teacher asked: Which is your favorite planet Dundumol said: Jupiter Minimol said: Saturn Tintumon said: 'Animal planet'

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Funny SMS - 2

During Xam a studnt who did`nt prepare, Left d page blank and Wrote at d bottom, "Dedicated 2my MEMORY, WHich recently passed away"

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Worlds Best Feeling Comes When We C a Wonderful Question Paper In d exam Hall N We Smile At Each Other Saying- DUDE, Dis 1 also gone!

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Techer: Write an essay on"If I Wer a Millionaire" Evry1 startd writng bt nt 1boy Tchr:Y dnt u begin? B:Waitng 4my secretary.... Dats attitude

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The height of "Bad Luck" :- A boy and girl meet last time, 4 their break up girl`s father caught them Now they r married couple.

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TEACHER: Last year u were in luv with tht grl N ths year u r in luv wit other 1. Wht do u thnk of urslf? Student:SYLLABUS has been changed

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Jack: R u pregnant? Girl: Not at all.! Jack: Then why whenever I send u a sms, ur delivery report comes

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I am Deleting Ur No. 4m My Phone Bcoz I Always Send U Msgs But U Never Replied.. So Good Bye! A Crack Send This Msg 2 Customer Care.

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A new poster outside every BANKS for the year 2015 . . . . . Petrol N Diesel loans available here!!

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3 Fastest means of communication.. 1 : Tele-Phone.. 2 : Tele-Vision.. 3 : Tell-a-women.. Need still faster??? Tell her not 2 tell any1.

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Galileo:great mind. Einstein:genius mind. Newton:extraordinary mind. You:always in my mind.

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Funny SMS - 1

Those seductive eyes Those kissable lips Dat sexy smile Da perfect tlk... Enough abt me hw r u?

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Do u know that ur smile takes 1000 people to death? Save the world... so plz start teeth brushing regularly

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Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB (hint- it should be 5) Read caps word reversely.

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If U r in 10sion, If nothing seems rght, If u fnd no way out, Thn jst thnk of me only once, I will be always there 2 INCREASE ur 10sions

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Teacher: Tell Ur Dad`s Fullname In English. Boy: Its Mr.FLIE GO Teacher: R U Tryng 2 B Funny? Boy: No, His Name In Hindi Is Makkhi JA

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An exact Definition OF Mathematics: >Mathematics is study of finding a black CAT in a dark room... When there is no CAT actually..

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Crack and his wife going to city in auto. Driver adjusted miror. Crack shouted you are seeing my wife. Go N sit back. I will drive auto

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Teacher:What is difference between Orange and Apple Crack:The color of Orange is Orange and the Color of Apple is not apple..

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A guy prints N pastes his prayers on d wall N at bedtime he points at dem N says: "Lord pls read dem, m feeling sleepy."

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HEIGHT OF STATUS: Lady goes 2 a fruit shop.. Shopkeeper: Ur dog is eating my fruits Lady: Shona, dont eat d fruits without washing them

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Define LOVE and Explain in Details ?

Q: Define LOVE and Explain in Details ?


Ans: A serious disorder of HEART due to relatioship between Men & Women that can cause DEATH of One or Both depending on the resistance associated.


TYPES: 1 Sided & 2 Sided


AGE: Usually occurs in Teenage buy now a days can be found in any age.


SYMPTOMS: Tension, Day Dreaming, Insomania, and Phone Addiction


DIAGNOSIS BY: Dairy, Photos, and Mobile


TREATMENT: ANTI-LOVE therapy by Father / Mother Footwear

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LOVE SMS

 ==>  "A bell's not a bell 'til you ring it A song's not a song 'til you sing it Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay Love isn't love 'til you give it away!" -Oscar Hammerstein

 ==>  Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. -Dinah Shore

  ==>  Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.

 ==>  Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

 ==> You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her. 

 ==>  You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. -Sam Keen 

 ==>  Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.' -Erich Fromm 

==>   If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough. -Ann Landers 

==>   Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. -Amy Bloom 

 ==>  The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K. Chalmer

==>  I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u", I love "u". Hey! Don't get excited, I love other alphabets too...v, w, x, y, z ! 

==>  Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT ! 

==>  I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Meneka Gandhi says "Love Animals" !A - U'r Attractive B - U'r D Best C - U'r Cute D - U'r Dear 2 me E - U'r Excellent F - U'r Funny G - U'r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I'm J - Just K - Kidding

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Funny SMS

1. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 
2. Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom .. & without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOU after all.
3. If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!... 
4. Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be .. one heart that would always beat for you .. You know Whose??? .. your Own Stupid!!! 
5. Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN.
6. 2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'
7. Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me! 
8. If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!! 
9. Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push

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