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Jokes

Boy: Hi
Girl: What?

Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?

Boy: I'm rich...
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Nthabiseng but you can call me "Baby".
I'm 19 & I stay in Actonville . I love short dark men... especially like you...
& I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?

Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name...
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers

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Women have a Passion for Mathematics
.
.
.
They divide their age in half
.
.
.
.

Double the price of their clothes &
...
...
Always add at least 5 years to the age of their Best Friend.

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We know Taj Mahal as a symbol of love. But the other facts are lesser known it seems.

1. Mumtaz was Shahjahan's 4th wife out of 7 ( great)

2. Shah Jahan killed Mumtaz's husband to marry her ( excellent)

3. Mumtaz died in her 14th delivery ( wow )

4. He then married Mumtaz's sister ( amazing)

wow man! that's some REAL love he shown there!!

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..New age poem..
Chatting chatting...?
Yes Papaaa!!!

with new boy frnds?
No Papaaa...

Telling lies...?
No Papaaa... ;)

Open ur facebook...!
ahahahahaha.... :(

A Novel Approach to Saving Money

ENGINEERS AND ACCOUNTANTS. A novel approach to saving money.

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, Ticket, please."

Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun"

Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a Xerox of the white paper!!!

Sardar was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When Sardar returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Sardar nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."

A sardar sees lota guys running on the highway.
Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are
doing.
The bystander : Marathon race chal rahi hai
Sardar : Usse kya milega ?
Bystander : Jeetne wale to prize milega
Sardar : To baki log kyo bhag rahe hai ?

A well dressed man was having a dinner in "Kake Da Hotel". After he had finished his dinner, he started to wipe his hands with the table cloth. The owner saw him and got real angry and asked, "Have you had dinner in some nice hotel before?"

Man: "Ya!" "I had dinner once in Ashoka Hotel."
Owner: "There also, you wiped your hands with table and chair?"
Man: "Yes, I did."
Owner: "Nobody told you anything!"
Man: "They kicked me and said 'agar ase hi karna hai to kisi Kake Da Hotel mae jake khana khaa'.

Sardarjee Jokes

White Lines

A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

30000 kms

A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to dispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car

which has done only 30000 kms!

Rechecking Answers

A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration

takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers

Sardarji's Interview

Sardarji went to an interview...

Interviewer: Have u heard of "MIKE TYSON"??

Sardarji: Yes Sir.

Interviewer: Can u tell me his father's name??

Sardarji thought for a while & replied : "MIKE TIE" !!

Once a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction, thisdisturbed the sardarji and he also decided to wear his pagari in thebackward direction.

While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardar ji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"

Jokes on Teacher and Student

Funny Teacher Student Joke
Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.

Maths Joke
A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'

Hilarious Student and Teacher Joke
Teacher asked, If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
The student replied: BROTHERLY LOVE

Dumb Student Joke
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Pluto and Neptune. Everyone must attend it.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far.

Funny Joke
The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.

Silly Teacher Student Joke
Teacher: How old is your dad.
Student: He is as old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Student: Because he became a dad only after I was born.

Hilarious Teacher Comedy
Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.

Software Jokes

Types Of Women

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

Ideal `ORKUT' profile of a Software Engineer

Ideal `ORKUT' profile of a Software Engineer

About me : I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not.

I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok…I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me–> "Just stop laughing!!")

Relationship status : What?

Birthday : The day my Project Leader is about to fire me.

Age : 101111111111

Here for: Web browsing in company hours.

Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : The guy sitting beside me is a pig!

Humor : Daily in office hrs visiting sites like funtoosh

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag

Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Living : Come on, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a Software engineer? Believe me, I am living!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage : naukri.com, jobsahead.com, hotjobs.com – Isn't it Ultimate???

Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: Quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities : Are you crazy?

Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored

Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing or doesn't make sense.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi but anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle!

Software Jokes

"DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS."

Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!

Software Jokes

There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS...

1. HARD DISK Girls :
Remember everything forever.

2. RAM Girls :
Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls :
Just for looking.

4. INTERNET Girls :
Difficult to access.

5. SERVER Girls :
Always busy when needed.

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls :
Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

7. VIRUS Girls :
These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE'
once enters in your system don't leave even after format.

Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said:
"Oye, Torch is okay"

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University finalexamination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at thequestion paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takeshis shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes histurban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watchfollow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and askswhat is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," hesays, "it says here, 'answer the following questions in Brief'."

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...
To avoid side effect!!!

Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke
Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.

A newly wedded sardar asks his mom" How should i do it?"
MOM says :"Put ur hardest thing where she pisses." sardar puts his head in the toilet.

Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "WashBasin".

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know
what the business was?

. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all relatives beat him why?
. . .. . . . . . . . He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Srdr gets ready, wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch
regularly. A man asks why he does this.
. . . .. . . . . . . . Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

Sardar Jee Jokes - 17

1. 8 kms a Day

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kg

At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

"I'm 2400 kms from home."

2. Window

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused,

why did you bring the radiator?"

The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can drink the fluid."

Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring the seat?"

So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the

sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."

Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door.

The sardar quickly responded to this question,

"Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window."

3. Magic Lamp

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted island. One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand. As they brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said I'll

give each of you one wish."

The japanese said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he was gone!

The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too was gone.

The sardar said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were back!"

4. Sheep & Dog

A sardar was tired of being sardar and constantly being the subject of all those dumb sardar jokes. He finally cut his hair. He decided to take a drive through the country to celebrate his new life.

Going past a field of sheep (he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess how many sheep in your flock, can I have one?"

The farmer laughed and said "Sure, Sir"

He gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep"

The farmer said with amazement "Your're right! Go and pick one out". On his way back to his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your real identity can I have my dog back?"

5. Sardar Tiger

Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but

wandering freely.Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he

noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again.

This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Result :- There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too.

Interesting Management Stories - Part 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"

Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene Inside the lion's cave: In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Sardar Jee Jokes - 16

1. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.

2. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool. I have a pass."

3. Sardar joined new job.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

4. Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

5. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

6. Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but it starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal di gaddi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaari gaddi petrol se start hoti hai.

7. American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar: Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

Sardar Jee Jokes - 15

1 - Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?

Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

2 - Manager asked Sardar at an interview, "Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"

Sardar replyed: P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

3 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No! Why?

Sardar: In London a lady asked me, "are you a foreigner?"

4 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

5 - Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti

So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanti.

6 - Interviewer: Just imagine, you're in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?

Sardar : It's simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

Funny Story

A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!"

"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!!"

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and
said, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

Few more Funny Jokes / SMS

Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....

Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about yours?

Doctor implants a New Ear to a man.

Man: You idiot, you gave me a woman’s ear

Doctor: It makes no difference

Man: It does,Now I hear everything

but understand nothing...=P

If u wanna make someone look crazy on Facebook
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

just comment on their status & when they reply back delete your comment :D :D

The best way to make somebody remember you
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
borrow money from them. :p

Boy: Do u have a pen?
Girl: Yeah
Boy: Oh..it s out of ink!
Girl: What? you're kidding.......it works!
Boy: It doesn't work! well,u try go write "your cell phone number" here.. P

My wife loves my beard * Funny Story *

A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!"

"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!!"

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

Sardar Reloaded.....

1 - Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

2 - Manager asked Sardar at an interview, "Can you spell a word that has
more than 100 letters in it?"
Sardar replyed: P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

3 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me, "are you a foreigner?"

4 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

5 - Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanti.

6 - Interviewer: Just imagine, you're in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : It's simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

7. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.

8.. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool. I have a pass."

9. Sardar joined new job.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

10. Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

11. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

12. Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but it starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal di gaddi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaari gaddi
petrol se start hoti hai.

13. American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar: Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

Sardar Jee Jokes - 14

Suicide

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks... takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks, "Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies, "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun.."

20 Rupees

Sardarji is travelling by train. He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more. So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard. When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home. Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

Rubi, Moti and Sardarji

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.

The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"

"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"

"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"

"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

Train Driver

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.

The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person."

The sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close."

House on Fire

Once a building caught fire and two guys and a sardar were trapped in the balcony. On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to jump.

The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too soon and he was dead. Seeing all this, the sardar was furious and said: "You keep the

net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you.

Cellular Phone

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

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