Funny Jokes / SMS
Boy:I sent love letters to my girlfriend everyday for 3years.
Friend:Then what happened?
Boy:Nothing finally She married the postman.
A kid gets zero in a paper Father angrily asks Whats this?
Kid:Teacher didn't have more stars to give so she started giving MOONS.
Best thought of life: Be talented in front of everyone. But always be a fool in front of dear ones.
Owner to Servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant:It's raining.
Owner:So what take an umbrella and go.
DAD:dear son,why your sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip no chik chik
New Economic Analysis Its better to have a Long distance Relationship Because, S.T.D. rates are much Lower than Fuel Rates
Teacher:How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? student:I get up early.
There only one difference between dream n aim. Dream requires Soundless sleep to see where as Aim Requires Sleepless Efforts 2 Achieve.
Why we have so many temples if God is everywhere?
Air is every where but we need a fan to feel it. Think about it.
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1 Too Many Questions.
2 Difficult to Understand.
3 More Explanation is Needed.
4 Result is always FAIL.
Friend:Then what happened?
Boy:Nothing finally She married the postman.
A kid gets zero in a paper Father angrily asks Whats this?
Kid:Teacher didn't have more stars to give so she started giving MOONS.
Best thought of life: Be talented in front of everyone. But always be a fool in front of dear ones.
Owner to Servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant:It's raining.
Owner:So what take an umbrella and go.
DAD:dear son,why your sister sitting so silent
SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstik, but i gave fevistik.
No chip chip no chik chik
New Economic Analysis Its better to have a Long distance Relationship Because, S.T.D. rates are much Lower than Fuel Rates
Teacher:How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? student:I get up early.
There only one difference between dream n aim. Dream requires Soundless sleep to see where as Aim Requires Sleepless Efforts 2 Achieve.
Why we have so many temples if God is everywhere?
Air is every where but we need a fan to feel it. Think about it.
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1 Too Many Questions.
2 Difficult to Understand.
3 More Explanation is Needed.
4 Result is always FAIL.
10 Ways to speedup your PC
1. Disable Indexing Services
Indexing Services is a small little program that uses large amounts of RAM and can often make a computer endlessly loud and noisy. This system process indexes and updates lists of all the files that are on your computer. It does this so that when you do a search for something on your computer, it will search faster by scanning the index lists. If you don't search your computer often, or even if you do search often, this system service is completely unnecessary. To disable do the following:
1. Go to Start
2. Click Settings
3. Click Control Panel
4. Double-click Add/Remove Programs
5. Click the Add/Remove Window Components
6. Uncheck the Indexing services
7.Click Next
2. Optimise Display Settings
Windows XP can look sexy but displaying all the visual items can waste system resources. To optimise:
1. Go to Start
2. Click Settings
3. Click Control Panel
4. Click System
5. Click Advanced tab
6. In the Performance tab click Settings
7. Leave only the following ticked:
. Show shadows under menus
. Show shadows under mouse pointer
. Show translucent selection rectangle
. Use drop shadows for icons labels on the desktop
. Use visual styles on windows and buttons
3. Speedup Folder Browsing
You may have noticed that everytime you open my computer to browse folders that there is a slight delay. This is because Windows XP automatically searches for network files and printers everytime you open Windows Explorer. To fix this and to increase browsing significantly:
- Open My Computer
- Click on Tools menu
- Click on Folder Options
- Click on the View tab.
- Uncheck the Automatically search for network folders and printers check box
- Click Apply
- Click Ok
- Reboot your computer
4. Disable Performance Counters
Windows XP has a performance monitor utility which monitors several areas of your PC's performance. These utilities take up system resources so disabling is a good idea.
To disable:
- download and install the Extensible Performance Counter List
- Then select each counter in turn in the 'Extensible performance counters' window and clear the 'performance counters enabled' checkbox at the bottom.
5. Improve Memory Usage
Cacheman Improves the performance of your computer by optimizing the disk cache, memory and a number of other settings.
Once Installed:
- Go to Show Wizard and select All
- Run all the wizards by selecting Next or Finished until you are back to the main menu. Use the defaults unless you know exactly what you are doing
- Exit and Save Cacheman
- Restart Windows
6. Optimise your internet connection
There are lots of ways to do this but by far the easiest is to run TCP/IP Optimizer.
- Download and install
- Click the General Settings tab and select your Connection Speed (Kbps)
- Click Network Adapter and choose the interface you use to connect to the Internet
- Check Optimal Settings then Apply
- Reboot
7. Optimise Your Pagefile
If you give your pagefile a fixed size it saves the operating system from needing to resize the page file.
- Right click on My Computer and select Properties
- Select the Advanced tab
- Under Performance choose the Settings button
- Select the Advanced tab again and under Virtual Memory select Change
- Highlight the drive containing your page file and make the initial Size of the file the same as the Maximum Size of the file.
Windows XP sizes the page file to about 1.5X the amount of actual physical memory by default. While this is good for systems with smaller amounts of memory (under 512MB) it is unlikely that a typical XP desktop system will ever need 1.5 X 512MB or more of virtual memory. If you have less than 512MB of memory, leave the page file at its default size. If you have 512MB or more, change the ratio to 1:1 page file size to physical memory size.
8. Run BootVis - Improve Boot Times
BootVis will significantly improve boot times
- Download and Run
- Select Trace
- Select Next Boot and Driver Trace
- A Trace Repetitions screen will appear, select Ok and Reboot
- Upon reboot, BootVis will automatically start, analyze and log your system's boot process. When it's done, in the menu go to Trace and select Optimize System Reboot.
- When your machine has rebooted wait until you see the Optimizing System box appear. Be patient and wait for the process to complete
9. Remove the Desktop Picture
Your desktop background consumes a fair amount of memory and can slow the loading time of your system. Removing it will improve performance.
- Right click on Desktop and select Properties
- Select the Desktop tab
- In the Background window select None and click OK
10. Remove Fonts for Speed
Fonts, especially TrueType fonts, use quite a bit of system resources. For optimal performance, trim your fonts down
to just those that you need to use on a daily basis and fonts that applications may require.
- Open Control Panel
- Open Fonts folder
- Move fonts you don't need to a temporary directory ( e.g. C:\FONTBKUP?) just in case you need or want to bring a few of them back. The more fonts you uninstall, the more system resources you will gain.
Amazing Facts - 22
1. Tarantulas can live up to 30 years
2. On average redheads have 90,000 hairs. People with black hair have about 110,000 hairs
3. More than half the time spent in United States courts is cases that involve automobiles
4. One barrel of petroleum holds 42 gallons
5. The smoke that is produced by a fire kills more people than a burn does because of carbon monoxide and other dangerous gases
6. The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.
7. In Belgium, 172,000 tons of chocolate are produced in a year
8. The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology. Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted as a small winged figure whom the goddess Athene carried
9. The biggest bug in the world is the Goliath Beetle which can weigh up to 3.5 ounces and be 4.5 inches long
10. Leaving the water running while brushing your teeth can waste four gallons of water in a minute
11. Steve Fletcher holds the record for the largest gum wrapper collection. His collection has 5300 gum wrappers from all across the world
12. There was once a country called Prussia. After World War II, it was divided among Poland, Germany, and the USSR
13. The word Spain means "the land of rabbits."
14. In 1936, the first practical helicopter was invented. It was the German Focke-Wulf Fw 61.
15. The word tulip comes from the Turkish word for turban
Most Dangerous Mosquitoes in the World: Culex Fatiqans
This house mosquito bites at night. Alighted anywhere, whether in clothing or hanging on the wall of the house. Various color variety of mosquitoes, there are black, some brown. Eggs in groups, such as forming a raft. the larvae suspended in the water. Characteristic of this mosquito, while perched body position is horizontal.
He found more often in turbid water or a lot of places containing organic material or food ingredients, such as in the gutter. Even so, it also likes to be in the clear water. These Mosquitoes can mediate filariasis or elephantiasis disease. This disease causes the worm Wuchereria bancrofti in the blood of a patient. If the patient’s blood sucked by mosquitoes that contain seeds filariasis, the worms from the patient can be carried and transmitted to others through its bite.
Most Famous Photos in the World - 10
Karl Max
Photographer: Unknown
Karl Heinrich Marx (Trier, Germany, May 5, 1818 – London, March 14, 1883) was a philosopher, political economist and social theory from Prussia. Although Marx wrote about many things during his lifetime, he was best known for his analysis of history, especially about class warfare and also Marxism that He made.
World's Smallest Snake
Smallest Snake in the World :
Leptotyphlops carlae
Size: 10.1 cm (4-inch) long
Found in Caribbean island of Barbados
Size: 10.1 cm (4-inch) long
Found in Caribbean island of Barbados
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